Hello again everyone. I am back again. Same old Kess, but now in a new flavor. SugarBlight
Honestly I needed a name change. The previous one was rusty, tear soaked, and saturated with negative memories.
Cannon Crasher was somewhat of a respectful tether to my father since we were so close back then. We were inseparable and spent so much time with one another bonding. We enjoyed playing shooters and other games of that fast paced competitive caliber. The 'Crasher' came from his old gamertag, while "Cannon" was an easy and applicable happenstance of alliteration.
It felt good on me and I wore it with pride for the first three to four years of my art career.
However that all changed when I came out to him three years ago.
The realization of my own identity drove a wedge through our relationship and he fell back on religion as a way to stabilize himself amidst the news of his two children not being "normal" anymore. That stability, however came with a new focused intolerance for much of the LGBTQ community; me included. And tried as I might, I could not make him see reason. I brandished everything I had, from proof of the scriptures being heavily paraphrased to project prejudices of the past onto a newer audience, to even approaching my own decisions scientifically.
Best we could do was agree to disagree, but even still, he would bookend the conversation with a nice "you're going to hell."
He didn't understand, and he didn't seem capable of letting go of his lessons from his own upbringing. He would never see me the way I saw myself nor would he address me the proper pronouns. Father and daughter separated by divergent political and religious affiliations.
So I ultimately gave up and decided to cut myself off from them to ford my own path. At the beginning of this year, I finally moved out for real after the pandemic lessened, moved in with like minded roommates and started the next chapter of my life... without the comfort of having my parents on my side.
Honestly I rarely talk to them. Unless I need something related to my finances or the multiple contracts we share, they remain as numbers in my phone.
Kicked off those old shoes to put on some newer, more comfortable ones.
Moving right along, the struggle for coming up with a new name was more painful than difficult. I have the ADHD given habit to overthink almost everything and this made selecting a new brand more trouble than I would care to admit. I turned to asking friends for advice or suggestions even though I'd be met with the classic "but it's up you."
As much as I knew that I loved to crowd source ideas to see if others noticed things about me that would steer me in the right direction. Many times it would, while other times it would give me too many options.
Eventually after a three month struggle, SugarBlight came about after an afternoon mashing innocuous words together in the shower as my mind tends to do during bathing time. It fit more than I realized. My roommates agreed with me as well. While I am known for my gentler and 'go with the flow' nature, I have surprisingly dark thoughts. Not only that, but I have always favored the concept of corruption and infection (hence my fursona's lore)
So Naturally, the new brand was perfect. SugarBlight or Blight for sure was my new alias. Two words which were close to opposites of one another. A combination that did not imply what I preferred to draw one way or the other, which helps in a freelance profession.
I hope to keep this alias for a long while if I can. My mind is fickle and it constantly changes what it's cool with, though that could also be the hormones working their magic as well.
Regardless, I am happy with my decision.
Also I apologize for a simple explanation about my new brand turning into a novella.
I guess I needed to vent about it all.
Anyway thank you all and have a great night!